Nextdoor Kitty and The Stairwell of Death

NOTE: ok this is a repost of a comment i posted on Becka's wonderful blog in case one of her three Hondurian exchange students missed it...alright, actually i'm just eternally slack...but i'm working on a sizeable piece to be posted here soon and hope to get regular with my updates after the holidays die down, so back off Lois! Until then Merry Christmas to all the Online Peepage and let's not forget peace in the new year!!

peace!! BOH
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After about 30 minutes in my cube i am already thinking about coming home to the hoards of overly-festive young people all dressed up in their flamboyantly colored Gap clothes and banging on Pringles cans like there's absolutely no hope of tomorrow.And of course I cannot forget the ten hot asian seductresses gyrating in my hot tub like one of those rap guys girlfrinds, mixing Ketel One martinis and engaging in a hot sweaty catfight over which four get to satisfy the big strong american corporate tech support technican for the next 12 hours.

However, in reality, the most exciting thing waitng for me when i get home is the severed head of a recently killed shrew sitting in the stairwell by my front door, left to me bi-weekly by Nextdoor Kitty as a gift of thanks for a can of tuna I left out for her one night two years ago when it was cold and raining and her owner locked her out. To make this evening even MORE exciting, I will go out there with my broom and knock the said head with a swift but affirmative backstoke down a few steps in a rousing game of Ultimate Shrewhead. I even simulate the whispering commentary of the typical golf announcer... WHACK!...KERPLUNK...KERPLUNK....kerplunk, plunk, plunk ("Oh, there's a beautiful tee shot from the top of the stairs Finny...he's got great distance but knocked it off the railing, could be trouble here...the conditions may be getting to him")... WHACK!...KERPLUNK...dun, dun, dun, dun...("Oh what an amazing recovery shot Finny, right at the bottom of stairs near the mailboxes! That's why Onionhead is the the top money winner on the tour, absolutely brilliant and resilient! He is putting on a clinic tonight. Oh my!")

After I put on the elusive Masters white Hanes T-shirt, the thirteenth of my short career, I celebrate on the sofa by eating a box of Bunch-A-Crunch and watching numerous cats getting their heads stuck in drinking glasses on America's Funniest Animal Home Videos (sorry, i just can't get enough of that, then again who can!!!!). Someone kill me now.